Please note that the information here is NOT intended to replace what these people have done, but to direct you to it; while giving examples of how a narcissist looks through a 3rd eye (and how they act in private). I strongly recommend these types of cameras to document them, and please also remember while you are involved in the ‘argument’ with a narcissist you are being emotionally manipulated and don’t do what you are supposed to do; these videos helped me recognize this and develop better coping strategies with her (over the last week or so, that she was here).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is a MASSIVELY complex understanding of the human mind, in this case one that is broken. This information is taken directly from: https:\/\/psychopathsinlife.com\/why-do-narcissists-do-idealize-devalue-discard\/<\/a> — Also note: I am paying for and taking Richard Grannon’s course “Unplug from the Matrix of Narcissistic Abuse<\/a>. His video on how this works is HERE Check out the superb video below by Grannon which neatly summarizes the main parts of the theory (this will give you THE answer in terms of psychoanalytic theory, why the narcissist behaves like this).<\/a>– and it maybe easier for you to understand than reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don’t think this is not a very complex thing, if you are not a shrink this is way beyond most people to understand, but, if you are dealing with a narcissist you simply MUST understand this stuff. In order for me to heal I have to understand it, and if you are a person associated with Tara Lee McFadden you need to understand it or she will draw you into this fantasy world and manipulate you; this (as this model predicts) makes you vulnerable to other people manipulating you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I will not quote the whole thing, but this is the basics of how a Narcissist works mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is pretty common knowledge in the psychological literature on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They are known to be emotionally and developmentally arrested, with their growth usually having stopped around the age of 4 in terms of mental\/emotional maturity and individuation. Therefore, in order to attempt to complete the individuation steps not completed in childhood, the narcissist first seeks to FUSE psychologically and emotionally with their target.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now do you see where all the things in the idealize phase come from? It\u2019s basically just an attempt to fuse the two of you together as completely as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once narcissists have fully merged and fused with their victims psychologically, this now explains why they can suddenly and abruptly devalue and discard them. Now they have symbolically fused with you, they need to push you away to (in their minds) complete the separation-individuation steps never completed in childhood.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Devalue:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Discard:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This process by the narcissist is mostly unconscious<\/strong>, and anyone who\u2019s dealt with these people knows they have little or no capacity for self reflection or self awareness. So they\u2019re almost never doing this consciously \u2013 it\u2019s coming from an unconscious desperation<\/strong> to individuate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because the narcissist\u2019s flawed attempts to individuate are largely unconscious, they\u2019re not aware<\/strong> of it, and will therefore sometimes try to \u201choover\u201d ex partners in to rekindle, to try and repeat the same process all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Dual Mothership thesis put forward by Sam Vaknin is one cornerstone of this process \u2013 where symbolically, the narcissist seeks to become your mother, and make you their mother symbolically. Whether you or them are male or female is irrelevant; this dynamic is still going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The key thing to realize for people caught up in this process is that it\u2019s never about you; it\u2019s always only ever about the narcissist and their desperate attempts to individuate and grow up. <\/strong>You\u2019re simply being used as a prop or instrument to this end, as painful as this sounds and as \u201creal\u201d as the intensity of the idealize phase may feel to you. Unfortunately, it purely a simulated process by the narcissist, and it\u2019s largely unconscious even to them as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is another aspect of a relationship with a narcissist that is formed during the idealize phase and can \u201cstay stuck\u201d inside you long after the relationship with them has ended, and can be difficult to remove until you become aware of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to fully de-construct this shared fantasy you have about the narcissist after the relationship, or it remains another aspect of them that remains inside you even long after they\u2019re gone, and can contaminate future relationships if left unaddressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/record\/1990-97064-012<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n https:\/\/www.academia.edu\/43633315\/From_Grooming_to_Discard_via_Shared_Fantasy<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Narcissists As Developmentally Arrested Individuals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
(Many of Tara’s friends have found this out the hard way. It also aids her in her “victimization” “the child” lure of the unbreakable contract (later))<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhy Do Narcissists Idealize? (Fusion)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Why Do Narcissists Devalue-Discard? (Separation)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Why Do Narcissists Also Sometimes Hoover?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The Dual Mothership Thesis<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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The Shared Fantasy Thesis<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
References:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n