My Toxic Abuser - Tara Lee McFadden

36 years of abuse at the hands of this person

Narcissistic Traits (Malignant Narcissist)

These are traits that I’ve seen in Tara, not all narcissists have all traits as some are more specific to sex. Men tend to have 1 where women won’t, etc.

  1. Grandiose sense of Self-Importance: In Tara this is seen by her constantly being late, hurried, busy, etc. This plays into their arrogance, fulfillment, control, self-importance, grand entrance, “their time” is valuable and not yours and their entitlement as well.
  2. Preoccupation with fantasies, beauty and love – in her case. Vanity is a huge problem with Tara. She spent 2 days getting ready for the Judas Priest concert, dying her hair, finding just the right clothes that didn’t make her look fat, show wrinkles (age) etc. In fact if you post pictures of her online without “glam filters” she will go ballistic – and I’ve seen her block people over it on social media. She also has a problem with her partners, I say this in hindsight, she wants someone that she can hold out as ‘just the right amount of ugly’ to show her (fake) compassion and still make her look good to the crowd.
  3. Belief that she is special and can only be understood by special people. The moment you question her, don’t agree with her, or ask something of her she does not agree with; you get assaulted and eventually blocked (ask any of her blocked friends; you can find a lot of them on my FaceBook page). Everything to her is either agree or you disagree with her and its an argument. Her ex-friends and I can tell you that this is Normal Operating Procedure for her.
  4. Need for excessive admiration (see videos I’ve posted on YouTube). Tara demands you appreciate every little thing she does, or you are disrespecting her. Her telling the truth to me on the porch resulted in her stating over and over “I want to be appreciated for my honesty.” See also the video of how she demands to be treated, outside the dog cage.
  5. Sense of Entitlement. I’ve personally not noted this, but others have. I noticed that she must have “this” food, or “That” vitamin. And restaurants simply must make her food this way, or that way, with this ingredient or such.
  6. Exploitive behavior. I’ve seen this in her expectation of others to meet her demands on things. I personally don’t think this is a strong trait in her except how it is combined with others.
  7. Lack of Empathy – I’ve got video (She admits my feelings don’t matter) after video of that. For instance I told her directly do not pose nude for Richard Forsythe to take pictures of you; and she did it without a care for our marriage vows or my feelings on the subject; not to mention the 26 times she has slept with other men while we were married.
  8. Envy. Tara constantly uses sexual manipulation to invoke jealousy and envy both.
  9. Being Right & Winning & Having the last word. Tara must be ‘right’ about anything. If she said the sky is purple, then its purple or you get blocked. She must always have the last word, a pet peeve of mine (see video). And she must “win the argument” at whatever the cost.
  10. Never guilty of anything. She will avoid “guilt” at every turn. Even when cornered she will then blame it on me, for years of abuse that rewired her brain.

Malignant Narcissist

  • Preoccupied with fantasies about beauty, brilliance, success, and power.
  • Unable to handle criticism
  • Tendency to lash out if they feel slighted
  • Likely to take advantage of others to get what they want
  • Overly concerned about their appearance
  • Have an expectation of being treated as superior.
  • Lack of empathy for others
  • Inflated sense of self and inability to self-regulate
  • Have no remorse for hurting others and no interest in apologizing unless it benefits them
  • Have an attitude of deserving the best of everything
  • Tendency to monopolize conversations and/or mistreat those who they perceive as inferior
  • Hidden insecurity and a weak sense of self
  • Tendency to blame others for their own bad behavior

Additional signs of malignant narcissism can include:

  • Seeing the world in black-and-white terms, including seeing others as either friend or foe
  • Seeking to win at all costs, leaving a great amount of pain, frustration, and even heartache in their wake; can include “Having the last word”
  • Not caring about the pain they cause others—or maybe even enjoying it and experiencing it as empowering
  • Doing what it takes to protect themselves from loss, inconvenience, or failing to get what they want in any situation