How I became a victim

There is simply no way I can detail 36 years of abuse at the hands of this woman. I tried a simple audio narrative that turned into 2 hours and still had so many holes that it didn’t make sense. SO, I will try to break it down here into its simplest parts. Please remember that after 36 years some details are simply lost to time.

The Beginning

I first met Tara at USB parking lot (The Strip / University Dr in Denton TX) back in the day (1984). She was too young for me. She used my brother to get in touch with me and invite me over. I told her she was too young and left after a while. She then comes to our parents house, where I was staying at the time, with my brother. She walks in in spandex (think extra thin yoga pants) and then straddles me on the recliner, rubbing her sex on mine and asked me why I didn’t like her (love bombing)

I told her that she was too young for me and had not matured enough to know what she wanted, like a serious relationship for life. She said that is exactly what she wanted (the bait also called The Seduction Phase)

Next the intensive love bombing started. She would initiate sex with me anywhere and everywhere. Restuarant bathrooms, friends houses, in cars driven by friends, etc. This of course convinced me that I should marry her.

The Wedding

At this point we got married and the next phase started. Our first fights were that I was not in her bed every night when she was ready for me to be there (seclusion from friends). The next part was I suddenly didn’t know what I was doing with her in bed. Okay interests change, so I asked her what she wanted me to do and the response was “you are supposed to know.” This continued with performance complaints, etc. She would state “Just hurry up and get it over with and I will get what I need in the shower” (devaluation, sexual manipulation, emotional manipulation – all combined)

Infidelity Starts

The next phase was infidelity. I could not afford to buy her a ticket to the Robert Plant concert, so she went with a old boyfriend (Joel Davis) and swore nothing would happen. I was trying to be a trusting husband and allowed it. Go on, guess what happened. She came rolling in around 6AM with that fresh fucked look about her. I was dumb enough to forgive her.

This cycle of infidelity continued throughout our relationship, even if she was not at some points actually engaged in such acts, the overall effect was the same up until the last day of our relationship (divorce – see below).

The Cycle

At this point the discard and recycle routine started. She would find someone, sleep with them, when they discarded her (as she is incredibly naive about sex and relationships, see emotional maturity) she would make amends with me. I know of about 26 men she did this with, each time I would try to forgive her (as at this point the trauma bond was set, I was colonized (a form of mind control) and a total victim).

This cycle of sexual and emotional abuse continued until our divorce in 2023.

Hoarding

By the time we got to Scripture Street, I was mostly numb to her abuse. Not that it didn’t effect me, as it did, but it was not giving her the satisfaction she wanted. It was at this point she started hoarding clothes, and then cats. She has openly admitted that every time I made her mad she got another cat.

Our house was floor to 9 foot ceiling with dressers full of clothes, and our waterbed was caked in cat shit. We had to start sleeping on the Livingroom pullout couch as the bedroom was stacked full at this point.

Toxic Associations

At this point Tara discovered Social Media – MySpace. She made friends with the most toxic people she could find, and mirrored their habits; including developing Trichotillomania (for a short while, till her vanity caught up with her). This problem continues till today.

The move to Boyd TX

This is where my boundaries began. We had to move to Boyd and ended up with a bigger narcissist than Tara (Suzanne Chapell). Tara started her shit again and this time I kicked her out; no more cats, clothes, etc.

At this point they manipulated each other and next thing I know I’m the odd man out, would be evicted unless I signed over a 250K life insurance policy to the wife alone, and there was a plot to kill me (Oh, it was just a joke – at the time I was dumb enough to believe it was just some kind of joke. I’m lucky to be alive right now.)

This is when Tara had me on the ropes and decided to divorce me, and I said yes and prepared to move. It was at this point that she figured out she had made a mistake and recycled me (I made her sign the prenup to get back together.)

Please note her name is now Tara McFadden – as we are no longer married.

Tara realized that she was going to be made a slave, that the murder plot was not a joke and that if this woman would kill me for cash what was her life worth.
So, she begged me to save her from that place; and like a fucking idiot – I did.

The move to Krum

It was at this point that we moved to Krum, with an old friend of mine. Tara still had her separate space and I had mine. It was not even a week and the sex games started, and I saw the writing on the wall.

Through a long and complicated process I ended up buying this property and made sure her name was not on it, from the prenuptial agreement. I then worked to improve the property and provide passive income through rentals, etc.

Around the time that my mother got sick, and I had to care for her Tara became distant. This is around the same time that she shunned me enough on social media that I withdrew and closed my accounts (It is obvious to me now that she was setting me up to be seen as a Narcissist). After my mother died she became more controlling, and pushed away my friends and support networks.

For all of 2022 she began “working” every day and was unable to help me here at the property. She would claim she was too busy, or too tired to help with certain things. She was still manipulating me about sex and in December 2022 that came to a ‘head.’

A truck driver needs a permanent address, my brother uses my address and one of my old RV’s to stay in. In December 2022 he told me he was quitting his job and would be home soon. I told Tara McFadden this and her reply was (quoting) “If you let him move back in here your sex life is over. I won’t have him walk in this house and hear you grunting like a pig.” And, she kept that promise.

I believe it was at this point that she began ‘grooming‘ her new victims, as it was clear I was setting a boundary and not going to keep falling prey to her demands.

This part requires backstory. A year or two (?) before the Trump election I met Riley Roden at a shindig thrown by his friend and my wife got invited (it was one of the few times I was allowed out of the house. This was more than likely an attempt to show her new ‘group’ what kind of narcissist & control freak I was). Riley Roden at this party mentioned my (licensed) handgun. He also mentioned that he was not legally allowed to own one, because of his mental conditions but used “Steve Appleton” (his friend there, who confirmed that) he “strawman purchased” a handgun for Riley. He claimed that this was necessary because of the ‘new husband’ of his ‘old (now dead) wife’. /shrug

Riley Roden then started a smear campaign against me, thinking that I was a “Trump Supporter” who (quoting) “Is a danger to society because I own guns, and support Trump. So, I should have my guns taken away.” – his public Facebook page still reflects this. (This is all important, you’ll see).

Over the 4th of July weekend my wife told me she had to ‘baby sit a house’ and ‘clean a couple of houses’ etc. so she was going to stay at Riley’s home. I told her I did NOT approve of this, but like always (because my feelings do not matter to her – Sociopath / Narcissist) she ignored me and stayed with him anyway.

It was at this point that I told her, in a letter (see blog post) that she either needed to get her head back in this game (marriage) or I wanted a divorce. Because she had now groomed her new victim (the Roden / Guage – family) she said YES to the divorce and piled on the gaslighting about me being a narcissist.

She scared me so bad with this at this point, I went to Therapy – and guess what I found out. She was a malignant narcissist. At this point everything went down hill very quickly. She then quoted Riley Roaden’s statements about my guns several times (Mirroring). See video here.

I knew her well enough to know she would not follow our agreement, and would start violating it (because she is a sociopath / narcissist and she does not have to follow the rules IE: respect my boundaries) and she did violate the agreement within 2 hours of making it. Again the next day (she thought the Divorce was a bluff), and that is when I told her to get out – this was a shock to her and the look on her face was priceless as I was not taking her shit anymore. (I have hours of video of this on my YouTube channel)