Delusional thinking
Tara McFadden has pushed many false narratives to her friends online and in person. From what I understand she has deleted or deactivated her online account – UPDATE: She told her sister Gail, that she has another hidden account that she uses to post all the details about her “abusive narcissistic husband” so her normal FaceBook page sits silent while she uses this other account – , she is an addict and admits to having up to 100 fake accounts on Facebook. I’ve talked to my therapist and my Dr about it – we believe she is able to get her “narcissistic supply” from online followers. In fact the Dr said that such a concept is worthy of a paper /shrug.
I also know that she has been doing this online for at least 8 years.
This video is about 15 minutes long, but the conversation was right near an hour. Tara exhibits ALL traits of a narcissist in this video.
A narcissist has a fragile ego, and cannot face criticism, even the slightest amount is seen as an insult and abusive to them, as they always play that they are the victim. Any of these “abuses” around her was criticism that she didn’t do something she was supposed to do, or did it wrong (she had a habit of doing things wrong so that she would be told to stop doing them; avoid responsibility around here). Pysical abuse, to her, was having to have sexual relations with me (her husband) and instead of being an adult and divorcing me, moving on, etc. she expected me to find a girlfriend to have sex with, while leaving her to inherit this property without any more effort on her part – she was very wrong. About many things and on multiple levels of that little game.
Brain Damage: This is a partially true statement. Tara does have brain damage, but it is self-inflicted. If you have not studied narcissism this part won’t make any sense, but I will try. When young Tara had a traumatic event and ‘parent’ didn’t comfort her (the event does not actually have to be traumatic by our view, its traumatic by the child’s view). This event broke her emotionally at that point in her life. She then started developing narcissistic tendencies, and the longer she practices these behaviors the more hardwired they become. They also get worse because of the screwed-up wiring, reinforcing itself.
Delusional: “Maintaining fixed false beliefs despite evidence to the contrary” – “A delusion is a sincere belief not questioned or adamantly held onto despite evidence to the contrary.”
Distraction Argument: A distraction argument is intended to divert attention away from the subject at hand. You see these types of arguments used in political debates online, or online debates about global warming etc. I left a lot of these in there so you can see how a narcissist tried to avoid getting pinned down.
Blame Shifting: is a very common tactic of a narcissist, although all abusive people do it. She tries to do this to me and in some cases I bite, though I shouldn’t.
5 Toxic Arguing Techniques Narcissists Use | Psych Central
The first part of this video is a collage of her claiming she is mental and has brain damage. NOTE: She was placed on permanent disability for mental problems by the Social Security Agency back in 2002 or 2004.
You’ll see her frustration at around 1:40 because I refuse to engage in toxic forms of argument, she actually complains that “you’re just calmly sitting there” – which is an offence to a narcissist. I also note that this is the only way I would engage her over any conflict that I couldn’t avoid; but most of the time when she started her ‘drama’ I just refused to engage her at all. This is the most offensive thing you can do to a narcissist.
At around 3:25 she makes the false claim that “the atmosphere here is hostile” – again it’s because neither my brother or me will engage her in toxic behaviors, we just ignore her and since that does not gain her attention, which is narcissistic food, she calls it hostile.
At 3:40 she starts her false narrative about all the “abuse” around here; as shown in text messages etc, there was no such abuse at this property. You will notice I just let her run with her false narrative as there is no sense in even trying to debate it, as she will (and does later) create things that didn’t even happen out of thin air or attempt to claim that she was attacked by stepping in the way of me moving something.
The real conversation begins at 4:05 where she claims that the “Dear Jane Letter” states that she must have sex with me every day until she leaves. She will then show her true nature when I tell her to bring it up here and lets read it, that manacle laugh of a true madman.
At 4:40 you will notice that she agrees she is never honest with me, and that will include all of you too. And then she justifies being dishonest as a normal thing and something she will continue to do.
She will then be unable to find it (because it is not there) then will jump through hoops that the document I hand her is fake, and it is all some trick. Throughout this she will try to distract by bringing up other things that have nothing to do with the subject (notice that I won’t let her do it).
At 8:15 she makes the claim that the document has been altered and it does NOT have that section in it. At 8:38 she makes a big production of saying it on camera.
Now at 9:13 in the video she “suddenly finds it” and even does a victory dance. She then reads it for the camera:
You will take your personal shit, your car and BOTH your RV’s and get the fuck out by Jan 1st of this year. HOWEVER the moment you don’t pay a dime less than what you have been paying, or give me ANY indication you’ve re-discovered your sex life, or stop doing what you are supposed to do around here; you are gone THAT DAY.
The Dear Jane letter – My Toxic Abuser – Tara Lee McFadden (taramcfadden.me)
By 13:15 she admits “My Bad, My Bad” that she didn’t understand what the letter actually said. This altered view of reality also applies to all the “abuse” around here – IE: she is lying and it never happened.
I then remind her that the problem with our relationship for years has been this issue. She does not see reality, but her own altered version of reality that is not true. She then tries to claim that I take advantage of it, and I have shown in the letter and as stated in this video I tell her that I’ve told her for years “I keep trying to help you, I keep telling you to Stop don’t do this, don’t do it, this will turn out bad.” Just like I told her in 2015 do NOT do this, and to spite me she did it anyway.
By 14:25 she tries to make up all these reasons why she is not to blame for this, or anything else that happened in our marriage – even claiming that she was “brainwashed” – yeap, can’t make that up.
In this short video its pointed out where she got the text message, and while making this video I actually found another I had sent her a month before. IE: she ignored both, and claimed neither one came through or whatever.
In one of the videos above, Tara McFadden admits that she cannot tell the truth. She can’t: