Read any Narcissist healing site you want. They will all tell you it takes months if not years for a narcissist abuse survivor to be ready to date again. My Ex (tne narcissist) was apparently posting about her first date after ‘me’ just recently – no clue when I don’t hear that much about her anymore (and that is not a bad thing)).
Let me tell you about my first date. I have not had one. On the day of my divorce announcement I had 4 phone calls offering everything from casual sex to, I’ll move in, pay you some rent, help you clean, as long as you fuck me. As an abuse survivor you can’t really stand the thought of being intimate with someone; and dating is too intimate – as a narcissist, well, you groomed that date months before the breakup. There is a big red flag for ya.
The only way I’ve even been able to go out at all is because there are people who understand what has happened to me, and they do actually actively protect me when I’m out. That list has grown and I owe these people a lot, funny thing is – they are ALL women. I’m sure some people think I’m gay now as I am surrounded by protective women – and I don’t give a flying fuck what someone thinks about it. These women have been hurt and they realize I have too.
I’ve talked to my therapist about it some too, apparently because of my open emotional state that makes me very attractive /shrug.
I also talked to my therapist about my empathy, and right now I’m highly empathetic. I told her I do NOT want to lose that and I won’t, but we agreed to work on understanding barriers and caution. I’m already being cautious as I’ve realized in the state I’m in right now it would be very easy for someone to take advantage of me.
I don’t know how long it will take me to be ready; I wish it was soon, as I’ve met several interesting women I would LOVE to get to know and can’t. Some have said they understand, but do they?