Trauma bonds are created from strong emotional connections; but you have to remember that the NPD is actually incapable of forming strong emotional bonds (that is the heart of their problem, that started with their childhood trauma (they can simulate emotional bonds, but not actually form them) – if you let Tara talk long enough you will hear hours of stories of abuse (They are all fake though – I’ve talked to her brother and several of her childhood friends; they never saw evidence of any of it. Remember though they are real to her (but delusional). She will regale you with stories of those who beat her up in school. She told me that her ex would beat her with a baseball bat (it wasn’t true). “He will take off and leave me without waiting” (forgets to mention she is 3 hours late)). They will use a combination of strong emotional ties to bind you to them and keep you from leaving them. In fact, rejection of an NPD like Tara is the biggest insult you can give them (see the video here, where she thought me divorcing her was a bluff – in fact she tries to maintain now that she left me (another delusion (pathological NPD’s are delusional) (see this video of how she is delusional) she has to keep up to protect her fragile ego)). Those people that knew her, her former friends – laugh and say “She fucked around, played her stupid ass games, and found out that I was done putting up with her shit.”
It can’t go without mentioning here that a NPD is delusional – she attempts to claim that I never showed her love etc., and that is partly true – in her own mind at least, a NPD can never get enough – and that is why their relationships always fail, if you told them 10 times on day 1 you love them then on day 2 you have to tell them 12 times, and 16 the time after, etc. This is a well-established thing for them (Narcissistic Curse, it is never enough for them). Also note: she will take the sentence above and chop out the parts she does not like and change the narrative, then run with it – like she has done with so many before.
All NPD relationships start with “Love Bombing” and they are not that hard to figure out. I divorced Tara in July (after she had been grooming Dana Fletcher for at least 2 years). She announced “in a relationship” the day after the divorce was signed by the judge, and married on the day I predicted 6 months after that.
“When a narcissist lands in your life, you may believe you have met “the One.” Narcissists dazzle you with gifts, attention and promises of undying love.
A narcissist:
- is head-over-heels in love with you immediately and moves the relationship extremely quickly to promises of commitment. People with narcissistic tendencies thrive on intense feelings and have a strong need for admiration. Everything is about them and their needs and not about you. (In fact a narcissist can maintain a pretense that it’s all about you… for a little while. Then the truth comes out.) When a narcissist captures you with a whirlwind relationship, someone is in control – and it is not you.
I could, and maybe should (but won’t) detail all her normal intimate things; what she will tell you, things she will say to really ramp up the sex – but – you won’t believe me, he won’t listen, and she will detract from it. Trust me its good, been there and got hoovered by her (love bombed) for 34 of 36 years.
Another reason they move on so quickly (among the many reasons) is to prove to their followers that “they were not the problem; the problem was the other person.”
https://escapefromcrazytown.com/why-narcissists-immediately-marry-the-new-supply-2/
Now the Triangulation.
Triangulation is harder for some to understand. An NPD is delusional, and hard as it is to understand, they draw you into their delusions (see dual mothership model). They use tactics like “NPD word salad” combined with “Gaslighting” and before you know it, you believe the same stuff they do. (I have broken down examples of Tara doing this all over this website)
Strong emotional ties like this are key to them forming a trauma bond. Tara has falsely claimed for years that I was going to murder her:
And the video here. More false claims.
(She later figured out, from the messages I have posted here, that I was as much of a victim as she was (at least she seemed to figure it out /shrug))
This is normal “Guilt forecasting” or “NPD Projection” in essence the NPD is blaming you for their own guilt (IE: things they have done, are doing, or plan on doing) like going to murder me:
At this point her intent to kill me is clear. I’ve spoken to many people that told me all the plans she had to kill me in many ways. From poisoning me on Ft Worth Dr., to hiring people to kill me on Fishtrap road, to insulin overdose in Boyd, etc. She has tried to kill me, and planned to kill me so many times that her guilt certainly overrides her reason.
I don’t know the details, but from what I hear she keeps pushing this false narrative that I was going to kill her, then she combines this with the false narrative that I was (am) stalking them. Like all NPD gaslighting, she tries to claim she did not add him to my insurance on September 27th 2023 .
Because of the love-bombing which enforces the shared fantasy, he won’t look deep into the details of the triangulation and fear creation; this enforces the trauma bond. Once that is well established, she will start the devaluation cycle.
I’m going to leave the Trauma Bond for another post. (Maybe?)
This post was about the false narratives she is running that “she is afraid of me” – it is well established that this is normal NPD behavior for their own guilt – and well proven at this point. I keep this in mind for the future. I’ve heard a lot of her stories about revenge on people. Spitting in their food, putting poison in their food, trying to get them fired from their jobs, etc. When you combine that with the suspected drug usage (have found out lately that she was doing meth with people, and my neighbor recognized the behavior (he is a former addict)).